more than I was prepared for

It's opening night!!!!! ahhh!!!!
December has seemed to come far to quickly for me. As we did our runthroughs and tech/dress rehearsals, I began to get a little nervous to tell the truth. If I get the lyrics right, my alto harmonies are wrong, but if I begin to focus to hard on those I forget the lyrics, or what verse we're on, or even loose the tempo... and if God has blessed me enough for me to get both correct, I most likely do the movement wrong or forget to smile... oh dear...

Our last runthrough did encourage me though, as I showed improvement in this multiltasking. I can't beleive we're opening! woot! I'm praying God will fill he theatre with his prescence and spirit, as well as people that need to experience it... I'm also praying I dont do horrible. This is my second show with masquer. theres quite a melancholy feeling to know that we'll only be perfomroming this show for one weekend as opposed to the two we did for the last show I was in.

Throughout this blog (if you've been reading along) you've heard quite a bit about my life and living situation and family junk... well... not much has changed, but masquer has helped me so much. At the end of the second tech rehearsal, I asked the lovely Yvonne (vocal director) to pray for healing. My arm, back, knee, ankle...practically the whole left side of my body, was causing me problems. She began to pray right then, but prayed for so much more than my physical healing, and for so much more than she knew, more than I was prepared for. I began to tear up... she had no clue that words she had just prayed over me where nearly the exact same words my mother prayed over me before I went into the missions field.

I didn't ask for prayer, but God knew I needed it and used her to bless me. This month, scratch that.. .this year has been a battle for me, but that only lets me know that God is planning somehting big, something filled with his goodness, and that excites me.

isn't it funny?

Isn't it funny how God can use the simplest things to turn everything around? well.. maybe not everythings been turned around, but I have been blessed in many ways and am constantly being reminded of how great He really is. Ever since I graduated I've been looking for a job so I can raise money to become a missionary associate. Well, after everything that had gone one and with me living with a friend and possibly (hopefully) moving into a more permanent home to call my own soon, I gave up on the idea of getting a job. I kept telling myself stuff like, "as soon as I get a job I'll just have to move again" or something of the sort....

God has a sense of humor, and always perfect timing. As soon as I gave up on it, he opened multiple doors for small side jobs left and right. I helped a friend clean up some stuff and organize, I'll be babysitting for another friend, I'll be house sitting for someone else soon, and to top it all off, I'll now be working in the church nursery every other week. What amazes me about all of this, is I didn't seek out any of these small, but amazingly perfect offers. Also, all of these things I would gladly do for free, but God knows my needs and will always provide for those who call on Him.

Needless to say, with all these small additions to my calendar, I'm finding it difficult to remember or figure out my schedule. Unfortunately I will not be at rehearsal tomorrow (and it's pajama rehearsal too... :( my favorite). God needs me elsewhere and I know he has plans for me and he will be glorified through it all.

despite the fact that I will be missing out on my much loved masquer time and people, I did get my fill while at workday on Thursday. Praise God we got a lot done! Plus there were so many praise reports to be had about God's provision in so many ways! Masquer has been offered a much needed (MUCH NEEDED) storage container for a very reasonable price. Although we could still use some donations for the purchase, we have faith that it is ours! praise reports of things being done, being found, new found joy, etc.

then... after finalizing some paperwork to work in the nursery, I found out my working there is just as much of a praise report for others as it is for me. I didn't realize they were in such need for workers. Isn't it funny how God works?

small encouragements

This week has been, to say the least, filled with different occurrences and emotions. After a draining week of packing and figuring out where I will live and where all my belongings will live, I am relieved to tell you my awesome friends once again prevail! I am staying with my good friend Leah, and my parents are at my step-dads parents house.I feel relieved, safe, and a little calmer, but at the same time I feel as if my life is at a pause, a little lost, and always still concerned a little to much for my own good.

The week has been filled with many mental break downs, and yet joy. My friends kept "kidnapping" me (with permission) to get out of the house and get my mind off everything. although I protested saying I had to much to do, they didn't listen, and I'm glad they didn't. They know what's best for me. I went to see Scary Poppins again on Friday with a few of those friends and had a lovely night, but when I came home and saw my nearly empty room, with it's bare white walls and empty shelves and closet, I began to cry again...

We had a yard sale Saturday to get rid of some furniture and miscellaneous stuff that we simply couldn't take with us... I went with my step dad and a good friend to set up at 5am... ugh... my mom gave me permission to leave once she got there around 1, and I intended to head home and pack up the kitchen, but was once again kidnapped to simply sit on a couch and watch movies. In my head all I could think of was what I needed to do, but once again, my friends (and mom) knew better and I got to keep my sanity.

when Leah picked me up for church sunday, I had bags of clothes in hand, and I was officially moving in. I'm not going to lie, it's been hard not to cry and to keep the mentality of "it will all be ok". I had a hard time holding myself together later that night when I was taking my packed clothes and giving them homes on the shelves and hangers provided. I got to rehearsal sunday and went from sluggish and mind boggled, to surrounded by brilliant people and focused on a better cause than my own problems. I am so thankful that I have masquer in my life. I joined to do ministry, but I feel like it's ministered more to me than I have to anyone else.

after rehearsal we went to build a bear at downtown disney. It's a wonderful little tradition to take new members that are wanted to stick around to get a masquer bear. I got mine a month or two ago, and we went for two people to make theirs. Ian came up to me as we were leaving and simply shared a small piece of his testimony with me and told me "everything will be ok" and gave me the best hug ever. He walked away and I shed a few tears that I didn't want anyone to see, and later thanked him. He had no idea how much I needed that simple encouragement and masquer brings me so much of that.

I went yesterday to help my mom pack up the last of her stuff and she dropped me back off at Leah's and met her mom. It was like the official handing off of the child... ugh.. today my parents are officially handing in the keys.

Through all this, I know God's still here, and I can already see him working through it all. between putting these amazing people in my life at the right moment, giving me and my parents places to go, and opening doors to small jobs here and there for me, and giving me peace and comfort. Praise God.

one of those weeks

This week has been, to say the least, horrible.
to make a really long dramatic story shorter (and less complicated) my parents were apartment managers (so we didn't have to pay rent as part of their pay) and they lost their jobs and we now have to move out by the 8th, a week from today. Another issue is where are we going? my parents are staying with my step-dad's parents, but due to more dramatic situations, I can't stay there with them and will be staying at friends' houses. sooo... it's been a tense and draining week figuring out life.

I nearly had a mental breakdown at workday. I love all my friends, but when you get the hug (which I really needed) and the "sweety are you okay?" question, it's hard to say that I am okay. I didn't feel okay. However, I must say that I don't know where I'd be without the amazing people in my life. They've all been so generous and helpful; offering places to stay, or put stuff, to help me move and even kidnapping me for lunch just get me out of the house for a little bit. Despite all the stress and worry, I decided to go about my Halloween weekend and stick with my plans and try to have fun, and thanks to those amazing people, I did.

The theatre somehow has a way of making everything better. I feel peaceful and blessed in ways I can't describe. The people, the spirit, the love, the purpose there, makes everything else disappear. Yes, there were the occasional thoughts and subtle reminders that things were askew, but it was no longer an overwhelming attack. I did have to compose myself and stop myself from tearing up right after we prayed and were stretching, then again as we sang on of the more upbeat songs that say "forget your worries". It's so much easier said than done.

I got to go to a Halloween party at a good friends house after rehearsal. I saw a lot of people there who know about the situation, that I hadn't seen in person since this all occurred. I tried to avoid the topic and questions and sympathetic hugs that I just couldn't handle any longer. At first I wished I was back at the theater, but after everyone dropped it and moved on with the night of fun, I was able to forget again, and have an enjoyable evening.

I was in good spirits when I came home, so much so that when I walked into my room and saw my bare wall and stripped bookcase, I nearly panicked... until I remember that I had taken the stuff down, I had packed up that bookcase... and I suddenly remembered how much packing I still had to do and how many answers I still needed to get.

So here I am. The weekends over and I have a week left in this apartment. Let the packing marathon begin! but first... bible study, lots of prayer, and some good coffee.

a blessed weekend

Hello dear readers! Let me just start off by saying it's been an awesome weekend!
I got the privilege to go to work day on Saturday, where Malinda and I had to clean the man cave! ick! Although the pigsty was... interesting...I had fun with my Malinda.

The work day ended early due to the fact that there was a memorial service for Pastor Craig's son, Jonny Wrench, which I heard was beautiful. I am quite new to the church and never got to meet him, but it was a very somber, melancholy feeling. Prayers for the friends and family are greatly appreciated.

After the short work day, I got to take a quick nap and then continue onto a work night! The church I used to attend had a youth auction (where the sell of youth to the highest bidder to assist them in any way possible) to raise money for an upcoming youth convention. I went to help decorate.

It was quite nice to see familiar faces. I hadn't seen most of them in a little over a month, and the warm hugs of old friends were wonderful as I went from person to person. Later that night my friend Lesia and I proceeded to bake A LOT of orange pineapple cupcakes with coconut shaving on the icing for a bake sale they were planning along with the auction. It was a long, messy, rewarding night with yet another amazing friend.

Then my weekend only got better as I went to church and rehearsal. A lot of people in the church are hurting from the loss of a good man and friend, but the love and comfort within the church congregation was beyond evident, and extremely beautiful and heartwarming.
and so much was done in rehearsal! I'm beginning to love this show more and more (despite the very Disney parade like music).

I know I've described a lot of wonderful occurrences, but the part that truly made my weekend, was Sunday night after rehearsal. A bunch of us went to Ryan and Sara's house for dinner, music, and a movie. Apparently it's a ongoing thing, but it was my first time hanging out with my masquer friends after a rehearsal (aside from Will and Leah) and it was amazing.

Leah and I brought our basses with the thought of playing with Ryan and/or Sara, Darrell brought out his violin, and a guitar similar to mine at home was passed around as we played our randomness with laughter and voices filling the house as people moved from topic to topic. From sharing stories to cheesy youtube videos, it was fellowship at it's greatest.

I love this group of people and their awesomeness! I'm going to brag and say I have some of the best friends God can provide. And I get a small thrill everytime I get a chance to get to know them more. I am blessed.

a show for Alyssa

This weekend was crazy and hectic for me. I went straight from a birthday party in Long Beach to a sleep over in Buena Park. Went to bed at 2am and woke up at 4am to do a 5k walk in Disneyland in the rain. THEN...I went straight from there to the theatre for rehearsal. oy...
The walk I went to is called CHOC walk (childrens' hospital of orange county). I go every year with a good friend of mine who was diagnosed with leukemia when we were in preschool. She attended that hospital and is now cancer free and we attend the walk every year. This year there was a team called team Alyssa.
As my friend and I were walking, we noticed a little girl's shirt in front of us. It read "I am alyssa, a future leukemia survivor" we both almost started crying. She was young , but she looked so happy. It made me proud of her and her parents for claiming the title of "future survivor". That takes strength, faith, and hope. And she had a huge team there with her to support her! I said a quick prayer and continued walking.
The thought of Alyssa and her struggles, as well as my friends past struggles, stayed in my mind all day. It made me greatful to be alive and healthy, and to be in masquer. It made me greatful for my salvation, and I prayed for theirs.
I was quite exhausted when I got to rehearsal, but it was well worth it to think this show, this ministry, could be for someone like Alyssa or her family. Someone in the audience could need it more than we'll ever know. It gives me joy to know that I get to be a part of something that has the capability to bring hope, joy, and the message of christ. praise god!

heres a picture of Allysa and the back of her shirt (which is kind of blury, but awesome!) and the walk itself.

small, yet vast world of theatre

This evening I had the privilege to watch Ian S. Talbot, the creator and director of Masquer, perform in a show called Scary Poppins at the Melodrama theatre in Shoreline village. phew! that was a mouthful of a sentence! Now... I said all that to say, it was awesome! However, seeing as I intend to have a larger purpose to all my posts, here's the purpose of announcing this awesomeness....
Seeing my producer, leader, teacher, as well as fellow cast member in a show away from masquer ministries is very beneficial (and fun!). There is so much more to theatre than simply what I've known and experienced at the Candlewood theatre. Seeing familiar faces on a new stage and watching the cross advertisement from one theatre group to another (and vise-versa) gave me a sense of awe and wonder as I realized there's so much I don't know in this small, yet vast, world of theatre! Granted, I already knew before tonight that I had a lot to observe and learn, but it really made it hit home that there's so much more out there than just this company and these specific people. I've grown a new appreciation for actors, singers, stage managers, make-up and costume artists, ticket sellers, stage hands, and everyone involved in this glorious cycle that brings so much entertainment, and in the case of masquer, truth and hope with the messages of our Lord.
I'm praising god more and more for my opportunity to grow in this new involvement of being in theatre. I can't wait for rehearsal! I'm excited to see where this show will take not only me, but those who see it.